Summer seminar | Students' assays: Part III

Summer seminar
by Robert Keil

This year was my third Summer seminar at Berkeley. I first attended as a 5th kyu student, then as a 4th kyu, and this year as a 3rd kyu. Each year has brought its own unique experience, and own lessons learned.

At my first seminar, I felt a lot of nervous energy and anxiousness over etiquette and protocol. Where exactly do you bow? Who are the other teachers? There was the novelty of working with dozens of people I’ve never met, and the stress of throwing in a very crowded space. Would I bump into someone? Would I thrown someone else into a third party? But mostly I was struck by the depth of experience of the attendees. The majority of them wearing hakamas, I felt like there was so much knowledge that I should try to grab while I could.

My second seminar was plagued by worries about my recovering knee. Should I wear my brace? Can my knee take the long weekend of practice? In addition, I felt tired and grumpy before I left. As I drove home, I wondered if I should even bother going the following year; if I was really getting anything out of the experience that justified the hassle of traveling.

This year, I felt neither the novelty of the first year, or the anxiety of the second year. Instead, the weekend had a pleasant, relaxed quality to it. I worked with people I recognized from the year before; I knew where to bow; I knew where to get coffee in the morning and where to eat at lunch. The seminar had become predictable, its structure and flow more clear to me. I think it reflected my practice. Which is a mirror of how Aikido practice should progress: First, it is often confusing, then it can be frustrating and you think of quitting, but gradually, it becomes part of your daily life. You train not with a goal, but rather because it is something that you just do. It becomes familiar and fun.

This year was also the first time I did all nine hours of the seminar. Previously, I was too tired or sore to make it to every class. It was quite gratifying to realize that I could train the whole time and not be completely worn down, or tired to the point where all I could do was go through the motions.

I was also struck this year by the dedication shown by so many of the students, especially those who traveled from North Dakota for the weekend. They spent precious money and time to come to the seminar, which made me want to use the most of my time there.

And as a last thought, the highlight of the weekend was when I sat on the side of the mat, as there was an odd number of people at that moment. I sat down on the side of the mat, feeling that I should have been faster choosing someone to work with, when Marriane Shibata Sensei came up from behind, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Let’s go”. We worked for quite awhile on Shomen-uchi Ikkyo, when were done, I thought to myself, “That’s why I drove here.”