Taking Sensei's Ukemi

The most challenging moments during my Aikido apprenticeship were while I was in the Uke role for my teacher. In the first year I was not called much for demonstrations, and felt a great hunger for it. When the moment finally arrived, I found myself doubting about my desire to be "in the fire" on a regular basis — although that was a point of no return.

First, it was a physical challenge, my body was not quite ready; I was always tired, I didn't eat right, nor was I drinking enough water. Yet, I had a great drive to experience the pressure and learn this new realm.

The next thing I had to study was how to empty my mind. Stop guessing and assuming on what's coming next. I learned to calm my internal noise, as I was called to take Ukemi. I tried different ways to prepare myself for the moment I was called up. It took months, but watching the more experienced Uke closely, and getting their advice helped greatly.

After being able to approach without assumptions, I had to work on a strong, clean attack, that derives from my center. Again, this is not the place "to be nice" and try and miss target. This just made things worst, and brought about some painful lessons. A good attack with intent, clarity and precision should be the goal.

Another lesson was about movement while in connection; being able to blend, follow, and adjust in a safe manner with the flow of the technique. I would often get "stuck", and my feet would not move. It took some time before my body learned how to relax just enough, so my legs, hips, and feet could lead the rest of the body with the flow of the technique - and not to be in its way.

"Being alive" throughout the process was essential. I had to maintain eye contact (sometimes peripheral vision) with Sensei, being ready for any shifts, and falling down in a manner that is alert and present for the next attack.

I believe that those who take Sensei's Ukemi are presented with a golden opportunity to learn in the best way possible. I was lucky enough to be able to do that for a few years. I also think that this was how I learned best. When I graduated the Kenshusei program, I felt there was still a long way to go in the path of Ukemi. I am grateful and humbled by this experience.

The thirst to deepen the study must be greater than the fear of facing ourselves.

In the video: Second Doshu, Kisshomaru Ueshiba Sensei

Autumn

Quiet.
Abruptly whistles,
Autumn wind.


Steel blue skies.
Dry leaves
rustle under each step.