A serious enjoyment

During most of my life I found it hard to enjoy myself while I had to be serious. Enjoyment was usually unraveling while in a light and carefree setting. Therefore, when I started to practice Aikido in my thirties, I did not incorporate much seriousness into my daily training. It was more like playtime, that I got to have after my workday. I took a couple of years to understand that this practice requires one to face the preciousness of each moment, a life and death feeling, in order to really deepen the training. I kept bumping into my own walls; my habit of making jokes, taking it easy and behaving in a casual manner. As time passed I learned to find the balance between mindful intensity and the feeling of lightness and enjoyment.

One of my students talked with me today about his doubts, arising from the ongoing aches and pains, frustration and the misunderstanding of Dojo etiquette. On one hand, he wants to train harder, faster and with more intensity - while on the other hand he is always concerned about getting hurt, and the discomfort in his body. The practice on the mat is a reflection of life outside the Dojo — life contains pain and frustration, as well as joy and fun moments. As the saying goes “It just wouldn't be a picnic without the ants”. There are lessons within the pain, inconvenience and even injuries. These lessons are usually not gift-wrapped, but they are true gifts.

With that being said, let's remember the sweet enjoyment and appreciation deriving from having this practice in our lives. Experimenting with discovery, learning new skills, and engaging in an intriguing mind-body-spirit activity that helps us evolve and flourish. What a great excitement we have on the mat, yet, this too, is not staying with us forever. We get to experience both sides, and work at the delicate balancing act between them. Being all goofy and chatty has no place during practice, just as much as nerve-wracking tension may not be very beneficial. A healthy balance will ensure a productive practice.

In O'Sensei "Rules for Training Aikido" we find these two rules:
"Aikido decides life and death in a single strike" and "Training should always be conducted in a pleasant and joyful atmosphere". Most of us will note that sometimes we lean towards one side or the other, sometimes too serious, or too light. There are days in which we deal with moods, interactions and occurrences that affect us in one way or another. When we come to the Dojo, we get an opportunity to restore our balance, to center and also to have some fun.

The gift in the pain, the spark in the routine — may sound like paradoxes, yet they do happen and serve us well. Let's practice hard, but let's not forget our smiles.