Aloneness

I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.

~Pearl S. Buck

My daughter, Aria (6), is an only child. She gets to play alone quite often. This play time is called "Quiet Time" - either in her room or in the backyard, she plays alone, quietly and joyfully. When I asked her to describe what Quiet Time is, she said: "Quiet Time is a time I get really creative. When I am alone I feel joy inside my heart. I can get deeper into it, especially when I concentrate, I can invent new stories, and go into my magical worlds. Quiet time is very nice, I feel the lioness inside me, and I think about great things. In my quiet time outside, in the yard, I look for things I've never seen before..."

In the peacefulness of the state of aloneness we are fully connected to the "bigger picture", or God, or nature. We feel secure, thankful and content. On the other hand - in our society it is common to find that the TV in always on, whether we watch it or not, the radio is always on while we drive, and we surround ourselves with noise, news, and an ongoing stream of information. We must be entertained by sounds, sights, stories and dramas. We keep running away from being by ourselves. The fear of our unraveling ego, or facing our true self, is causing us to escape from "looking in the mirror".

The Indian mystic, Osho, said "the first thing is to acknowledge aloneness. Aloneness is our true nature; we can never, ever, not be alone. We come into this world alone, we leave the world alone. And in between these two, we are alone – but we frantically hide from it, run from it, pretend it isn’t true."

The knowing rooted in aloneness allows us to get closer to ourselves, appreciate what we have, and helps us connect better to nature, our loved ones, and our surroundings. Having some time of solitude brings a great appreciation to the life we live. Choosing moments of aloneness, whether taking a walk, in Seiza on the mat, or in meditation, is truly beneficial. Watching the clouds, humming a little tune, smelling flowers, or enjoying a private dance at home, can easily fill the daily dose of aloneness in our commitment to ourselves.