Finding the balance

About a month ago, I wrote a post about the act of dynamic balancing. I believe that before we start maintaining balance, we actually need to create a balance. Creating a life balance entails making choices about the ingredients we will use in our moment-to-moment balancing.

A good place to start is an examination of the different areas of life. Then, we can start allocating the portions that each area fulfills. Here is a suggested list:

• Career/Work - For most of us, this is our means of living, whether we love it or not, the fruits of this work sustain us. Since it has the most immediate and tangible results, we sometimes are tempted to give it the biggest portion.
  
• Friends & family - Our family and friends can be a great source of comfort and connection, as well being supportive through difficult times. We should be careful not to take them for granted.
  
• Community - The larger scale of giving and sharing comes to play here, whether helping someone across the street, or doing some volunteering work.
  
• Self development - This is where we invest in ourselves. The investment may be on an intellectual level, creative side, through hobbies, practices and study. This is the area that is dedicated to our internal self growth.
• Health - In this area we pay attention to what we eat, drink and take in, through our five senses. We become aware to what creates the most positive settings for our mental and physical health, and what should be given up, when it not in contribution to our well being.
  
• Spirituality - On the more subtle levels, this is where our vision and our outlook stems from. Whether the framework is praying in a congregation, or a solo meditation - we find our inner power and connection in these spaces.
  
• Doing nothing - Lastly, each of us needs time alone, as I mentioned in my last post about Aloneness. This is when we recharge and connect with ourselves, and our purpose. Spending time alone helps us re-enter the world feeling refreshed and connected. This is our "Off time", or the way the Italians call it: "Il Dolce Far Niente" ("sweetness of doing nothing"). This is truly an art, and here are a couples of ways to do it: First, finding a place to relax in. Disconnecting all distractions (cell, computer, PDA and such). Eyes closed. Breathing. Or, simply enjoying a cup of hot chocolate, tasting fresh bread, or sipping soup on a Winter day. If outside in nature, just looking around, listening, smelling and touching. Feeling the wind, the sun, or the rain drops.
  

Now take a close look at each thing on the list, and consider: How does this give my life value? How important is it to me? Is it in line with my life priorities and values? How would it affect my life if I dropped out? Does this further my life goals? Does it make me happy?
This is a partial list for some people, for others it contains too many areas. Choose for yourself; what time will be dedicated to each domain, and go ahead and commit to it. Trying it for a few weeks will provide a good idea of how much balancing is needed in order to keep a commitment to your life of choice. After a while, make your tweaks and adjustments - and as you do the balancing act, remember: Consistency is your friend...

Aloneness

I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.

~Pearl S. Buck

My daughter, Aria (6), is an only child. She gets to play alone quite often. This play time is called "Quiet Time" - either in her room or in the backyard, she plays alone, quietly and joyfully. When I asked her to describe what Quiet Time is, she said: "Quiet Time is a time I get really creative. When I am alone I feel joy inside my heart. I can get deeper into it, especially when I concentrate, I can invent new stories, and go into my magical worlds. Quiet time is very nice, I feel the lioness inside me, and I think about great things. In my quiet time outside, in the yard, I look for things I've never seen before..."

In the peacefulness of the state of aloneness we are fully connected to the "bigger picture", or God, or nature. We feel secure, thankful and content. On the other hand - in our society it is common to find that the TV in always on, whether we watch it or not, the radio is always on while we drive, and we surround ourselves with noise, news, and an ongoing stream of information. We must be entertained by sounds, sights, stories and dramas. We keep running away from being by ourselves. The fear of our unraveling ego, or facing our true self, is causing us to escape from "looking in the mirror".

The Indian mystic, Osho, said "the first thing is to acknowledge aloneness. Aloneness is our true nature; we can never, ever, not be alone. We come into this world alone, we leave the world alone. And in between these two, we are alone – but we frantically hide from it, run from it, pretend it isn’t true."

The knowing rooted in aloneness allows us to get closer to ourselves, appreciate what we have, and helps us connect better to nature, our loved ones, and our surroundings. Having some time of solitude brings a great appreciation to the life we live. Choosing moments of aloneness, whether taking a walk, in Seiza on the mat, or in meditation, is truly beneficial. Watching the clouds, humming a little tune, smelling flowers, or enjoying a private dance at home, can easily fill the daily dose of aloneness in our commitment to ourselves.

More on Mushin: double attention

Part of capturing the flowing feeling of Mushin (no-mindedness, or empty mind) is having double attention. Instead of being fixated on what is outside of ourselves, we keep mindful - through our mindfulness we are not detached from what is around us. We take integral part in our reality, the hear-now. We focus on what is around us, as well as on our own physical, mental and emotional experience.

In this short video, James Traitz, author of Don't Stop Your Mind, encapsulates the practice methods and the experience of Mushin.



Self remembering is a excellent way for a daily practice. Beside generating awareness, it brings about many other important lessons, such as humility, compassion, and clarity. We learn our part in the ever-changing cosmic web, on which we are all interconnected. It is a way to deeply examine our behavior and habits, and watch when we are "on automatic". This is a tool that sharpens our ability to create change, fills us with courage, and helps us to face our fears. The practice being fully present in the moment enables us to live a fuller, more enjoyable life.